Your Friend Circle Needs to Include Married Couples—Here’s Why.

January 13, 2021

Friendship is a key ingredient for a fulfilled life. Friendships can come in many forms. Childhood friends, college or work friends, adult friends, family friends, and of course the most important friend you will have in your life, your spouse. 

Friendship makes the soul happy, laugh, and filled with joy. When friends come together who share a common interest or purpose, it fuels that connection and bond even more. 

When a person gets married, they need friends. Never get rid of or lose sight of your friends. They are important. 

Here’s the but. 

Marriage equals two. Two people forming one union. The things you use to do as individuals become an activity for a pair, not all the time, but more often than before, even in friendships. 

Yes, each person in the marriage deserves, and needs, individual friend time. Time to have fun, kick back, and unwind from the challenges that life might bring. AND it would be best if you spent time with married-couple-friends, together.  

We become what we surround ourselves with. If you surround yourself with single-minded friends or married friends who don’t include their partners in daily activities, you could be writing a future path for yourself. 

Spending time with married couples is automatic food for the married soul. Married folk, you’ve all experienced this at some point. You’re out with your marriage besties, you look over at a couple and say, “I remember that is how we use to be,” or you get a kick in the love-gut because you see the interactions of another couple and think to yourself, I need to do better or be more intentional. We’ve all been here, and if you haven’t, maybe you are the one people are admiring. *wink* 

Let’s not confuse admiration with trying to be something you are not. This is not a #couplegoals race. 

Spending time with married couples…

Reminds you how much you love each other.

Of course, you love your spouse. But we live in a distracting society, and at times, focus can be lost. Living in the quarantine season, most of us are at home more than ever before. We think that equals spending time with our partner, but it is not. 

Being around other couples who openly express their love and admiration for each other can be great food for your marriage soul. It can take you back to those moments when “you two used to do things like that.”

Provides unsolicited marriage advice

Marriage advice is not a dirty phrase. Marriage advice and support are needed, no matter how strong a union is. When you intentionally spend time with married folk, conversations look and feel different. Topics arise that might not otherwise because of the setting. 

The question that has been sitting on your heart for a while can now be released, discussed, and answered. 

Helps you learn new ways to love each other. 

Some of my best ideas for date nights, vacations, or marriage conversation starters come from spending time with other married couples. Not everything has to be a brand new idea or a new way of doing something. Loving and spending life with each other is about doing things your way. And your way could be using an idea from somewhere else and remixing it into what the two of you like.   

Is so much fun. 

My husband and I enjoy including like-minded marriages into our favorite activities, or we join theirs. Is grabbing drinks with my husband a great outing? Yes, of course! But grabbing drinks at our favorite bar with our marriage besties is even more fun. 

We get to spend time with people we love, give each other googly-eyes when the group divides into boys and girls, like we are in middle school or something, and then we get to show our appreciation and affection for each other. Couple outings allow for safe and open, humorous complaining. These are the best after a few cocktails. 

Marriage is a home that is being built daily. Every day a new brick is cemented and laid down. And the two of you are the builders. Some days construction is slower than others, but it’s still being built. Who fills and visits your home impacts your marriage. Only the right guests need invites. Make sure those guests include married couples. 

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Creator + Founder of @BlackWifeLife. Champagne, Curls & Coffee.