The Language of Appreciation

The act of showing appreciation for your partner is one of the most valued things you can do to cultivate a happy and healthy relationship.  Hands down, if a person does not feel appreciated they will not continue to put forth the effort! This goes for almost every area of life.  Let’s think of marriage as a job that you love to go to. You show up every day. You put on your best performance. You give your all to grow the relationship because you signed up for the job and that’s where you want to be.  You even put in overtime to make sure the job is done and that all parties are happy.  

So what happens when you show up for your job and all you get is criticized and not recognized for your efforts? What about when all you hear are complaints and you are constantly feeling like you are up for review? What about when you get overlooked or compared to others? Well, my guess is that most people would begin to do the bare minimum, just enough to get by. Some may become disgruntled or frustrated, feeling like they have to constantly fight to be understood. Others may mentally check out or simply quit. Any relationship, be it marriage or a life partner situation, is always a work in progress.  

Just like you go to a job and work every day so that you can pay the bills, afford the finer things in life and simply have peace of mind, you must do the same in a marriage or any other committed relationship.  Appreciation is gratitude or recognition toward someone or something. It can also be understanding the value of a situation.  Showing your appreciation to your partner helps to fulfill their basic human needs.  Everyone wants to be appreciated for their efforts and feel that what they are doing is valued. As a matter of fact, feelings of appreciation creates the desire to want to do more.  

The fact of the matter is that it doesn’t take much effort to show your appreciation for someone, and the results can be very rewarding.  It conveys love and value to a person that makes them want to reciprocate.  Let’s face it, appreciation can be downright romantic. I don’t know about you, but I love being told I’m awesome for holding the family down or that I am an amazing asset to my relationship.  Even in the midst of a tense situation, speaking the words of appreciation and understanding can quickly alleviate the feelings of tension, making room for positive and open communication.

If you are unsure of how you can show your appreciation to your partner, here are a few ideas for starters: According to Contentment Questing

  • Be a giver – try to give more than you take.
  • Order something they’ve been wanting and have it delivered to their job.
  • Allow them a day free of duties.
  • Greet them at the door with a hug and kiss, letting them know they were missed.
  • Compliment them on making efforts.
  • Recognize their talents and encourage them to be the best at it.
  • Take a genuine interest in something that interests them.
  • Let them know that you stand by them by showing your “ride or die” spirit. Willingness to be supportive also shows your appreciation for their efforts.

The list could go on and on. You have to choose something that you know would put a smile on your partner’s face and make them feel recognized. Just remember the golden rule… treat those the way you want to be treated. Never underestimate the power of a few simple words of appreciation.  It creates the feeling of being loved, valued, and most of all a happy and healthy relationship.

Kortney Garwood
Wife, Mother, Educator, Entrepreneur, Writer and EXTRA Phenomenal....Woman I Am!

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