Let’s Stop Saying You Are Doing Too Much⏤What Does This Really Mean?

She looked at me, and asked: “Am I doing too much”. Now, I have beef with whoever invented that phrase…

I know a very creative woman. The type of person who only needs two cereal boxes, one empty toilet paper roll, and a few pieces of construction paper to build a mini amusement park. She also teaches young children. Naturally, to keep her students happy and busy, she comes up with many quirky activities.

I like to think I’m a decent listener. This woman also calls me her boyfriend. This means my girlfriend, Jessica, pitches many of her ideas to me. 

It was no different the other morning. I was at Jessica’s home, relaxing on her couch, watching cartoons with her daughter when she came to me with an idea. 

She wanted to teach her kids how to floss. She told me how she would make model teeth out of pink and white pieces of construction pieces and cut it up in a way in which her kids can physically floss the model teeth. I thought it was an amazing idea. She showed me what she had so far. It looked great.

As Jessica walked me through her idea, her eyes lit up. Her voice boomed with excitement. She looked more and more excited as she went through the details. I could tell she had put a lot of thought into her plan. But, when she finished explaining, she took a breath, looked at me, and asked: 

“Babe, am I doing too much?”

Now, I have beef with whoever invented this phrase. I hate this phrase!

Maybe because I used to believe it, I’ve wanted to share my writing for years. I’ve wanted to be a blogger but gave up on my ideas because of this belief. I put my dreams on layaway, and now know those words can be the difference between living one’s purpose and living up to someone else’s expectations.

Maybe that’s why I get upset hearing those words.

It’s not the first time she asked. More often than not, whenever she tells me a grand idea, she asks this question.

The short answer is No, she is not doing too much.

The long answer is I wish I could go back in time, find the first person who ever told someone else, “You doing too much,” and have a “civil” conversation about why they should never say “You doing too much” again.

By making someone believe he or she is “doing too much,” you are killing creativity. You are punishing progress. You are making average acceptable.

And that is not ok.

When someone believes in something, I don’t think he or she can overdo it. No one should feel bad for having a big goal.

I’m sure many people thought Jemia was “doing too much,” creating BlackWifeLife®. Now, BlackWifeLife® is a community approaching 100,000. I can appreciate Jemia “doing too much.”

For my girlfriend, I’d bet her students enjoy their teacher a little bit more on those days when she does too much. Learning how to floss is a little bit more fun when you get to play with model teeth. At least, I think so.

So, I look at my girlfriend, cradle her hand, and tell her no, you are not doing too much. She is never “doing too much.” Her idea is brilliant. I love her imagination. And if I have to reassure every time, I will.

I hope “doing too much” is removed from our vocabulary as there’s nothing worse than knowing we didn’t do enough.

Shaquille Telford
A millennial trying to understand love.


  1. Agreed. I used to cringe when that saying first started getting popular . It’s almost always said by people who embrace mediocrity

    1. My thoughts exactly!

  2. This design is spectacular! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job.

    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

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