Let me say what I should have said before 

I want to tell you that I love you 

But I don’t know what that means 

I make fun of myself because I want to keep you happy 

That’s my idea of being vulnerable 

I never learned how to say I’m afraid of being hurt 

Instead, I learned how to hide my feelings 

And I’ve gotten so good at it 

That I don’t know 

What my feelings are anymore 

In fact 

It scares me 

Some nights I wake up in tears 

And I wish I could explain why 

But I don’t know 

It’s like the me in my dreams 

Processes all the emotions 

The me awake failed to 

I don’t understand this love thing 

So every time I write a “love” poem 

It’s always the metaphors 

And never the feelings 

Because I don’t know what these feelings are 

I just know that when I hear love and your name 

It feels like the two go together 

If I had to take a guess 

I’d say it’s the feeling I get whenever I hear your voice 

And I like that feeling… 

A lot